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Paths and Changes
Amazing isn't it that we constantly seem to think we need things, we shop, constantly shop, for the things. What little cash my wallet holds and what an amazing amount of other information finds it's way into my wallet I find useless now. But it does hold various amounts of cash or checks I've written. Once this wallet was used for the sole purpose of a place to hold my privileged licence to drive, the check book and perhaps a credit card and bills, no place for change. Now I see I've made a great mistake. My coin pouch has more coin in it than ever before and my wallet has receipts and no bills. Not one dollar! So why do I make more money now than I had before and I find my wallet empty? The words come to my mind easily, "Something is wrong, something is terribly wrong here!" Oh, I have had my path change alright and I've been broke for two years and the sole support for more years than I can imagine. Most people have had it far worse than I. It may be an old roof, but it's still over my head for the moment, I have a pillow to rest my head and love is all around me. So, why am I disgusted with an empty wallet? I expected more from myself in life at this time right now, the life of being a pro ager perhaps. I fit in with others right now, but all aside, to live simple is at a pricey cost. Do I need a change? Do I need anything at all? Do nothing at this moment? I can't stop myself from doing things, thinking things, writing things, working, saying something even if nobody is listening at all. I've tried to keep things private, but you know what, I enjoy posting things. No, perhaps I enjoy fixing, chatting, answering, having an answer is what I like to figure out. I don't have the answer for everything, but that's what children do to parents. We are supposed to be the listening one whom if no answer is available there is always the encyclopedia, now it's Google it. Perhaps my answer to myself is, don't say anything, there are fewer questions and perhaps the question isn't really directed to me to answer. Perhaps I have too many questions and don't want to listen to any answers either. I'm afraid of my own questions now. I know the answers but avoid questions. I'm now afraid of my path and don't know if I have the courage to change. Don't think I am willing to continue this path I'm on because it only can lead towards the end. I've not thought much about myself after I'm over the hill and I still don't think or talk about retirement. So, I will continue to do what I feel like doing, my thoughts are that I need more courage, to change or accept changes. But more importantly to allow continued paths to develop for me and not to blindly accept the path I may think I am on is correct.
Amazing isn't it that we constantly seem to think we need things, we shop, constantly shop, for the things. What little cash my wallet holds and what an amazing amount of other information finds it's way into my wallet I find useless now. But it does hold various amounts of cash or checks I've written. Once this wallet was used for the sole purpose of a place to hold my privileged licence to drive, the check book and perhaps a credit card and bills, no place for change. Now I see I've made a great mistake. My coin pouch has more coin in it than ever before and my wallet has receipts and no bills. Not one dollar! So why do I make more money now than I had before and I find my wallet empty? The words come to my mind easily, "Something is wrong, something is terribly wrong here!" Oh, I have had my path change alright and I've been broke for two years and the sole support for more years than I can imagine. Most people have had it far worse than I. It may be an old roof, but it's still over my head for the moment, I have a pillow to rest my head and love is all around me. So, why am I disgusted with an empty wallet? I expected more from myself in life at this time right now, the life of being a pro ager perhaps. I fit in with others right now, but all aside, to live simple is at a pricey cost. Do I need a change? Do I need anything at all? Do nothing at this moment? I can't stop myself from doing things, thinking things, writing things, working, saying something even if nobody is listening at all. I've tried to keep things private, but you know what, I enjoy posting things. No, perhaps I enjoy fixing, chatting, answering, having an answer is what I like to figure out. I don't have the answer for everything, but that's what children do to parents. We are supposed to be the listening one whom if no answer is available there is always the encyclopedia, now it's Google it. Perhaps my answer to myself is, don't say anything, there are fewer questions and perhaps the question isn't really directed to me to answer. Perhaps I have too many questions and don't want to listen to any answers either. I'm afraid of my own questions now. I know the answers but avoid questions. I'm now afraid of my path and don't know if I have the courage to change. Don't think I am willing to continue this path I'm on because it only can lead towards the end. I've not thought much about myself after I'm over the hill and I still don't think or talk about retirement. So, I will continue to do what I feel like doing, my thoughts are that I need more courage, to change or accept changes. But more importantly to allow continued paths to develop for me and not to blindly accept the path I may think I am on is correct.
